


How to Lay My Sword Down

by MarshallDFaythe



Series: Holiday Giftmas Works [7]
Category: Final Fantasy XV
Genre: Angst, Fluff, Lots of Angst, M/M, has a happy ending
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-24
Updated: 2019-12-24
Packaged: 2021-02-25 22:54:18
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,703
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21943210
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MarshallDFaythe/pseuds/MarshallDFaythe
Summary: Part of my Giftmas Giveaway!Gladiolus has been a shield his entire life, and now it feels as though his armor is cracking. The world is falling apart and so much change has come about. He feels as though he's drowning, which leads to a heated fight on the train to Gralea. Now Gladio must repair the damage he's done.Or-The apology scene we didn't get after the fight and a much deeper analysis of Gladio's character.
Relationships: Gladiolus Amicitia/Noctis Lucis Caelum, gladnoct
Series: Holiday Giftmas Works [7]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1570471
Comments: 2
Kudos: 23





	How to Lay My Sword Down

**Author's Note:**

> Highly recommend you pair this with the song Eight by Sleeping At last. The song is from an album based on the Eenneagram types, which I did for all the Chocobros. Gladio is a type eight. His is always the song that breaks me, and I wanted to include it in this fic. I often feel Square did him dirty and didn't allow us to see much of his true character. I've wanted to write this story for a long, long time. I cried three times while writing this and had to take breaks! I'm an emotional mess. :D

_ I remember the minute _

_ It was like a switch was flipped _

_ I was just a kid who grew up strong enough _

_ To pick this armor up and suddenly it fit _

Gladiolus often dreamed about his Father, Clarus. In these dreams, they would fight. He would tell Clarus he wasn't ready to be anyone's Shield. His Father would disagree and tell him that it was his duty. The words would ring in the air, echoing and bouncing off of each other until his Father vanished before his eyes. Gladio was a Shield. He was to serve Prince Noctis until he died. It weighed heavily on him when he was younger as it did now. Only, this time was different. His Father was gone. He had no one to go to for advice-no one to lean on. Gladio always knew this day could arrive... However, he never imagined it would be before he was even in his 30s.

_ God, that was so long ago, long ago, long ago _

_ I was little, I was weak, perfectly naive _

_ And I grew up too quick _

He would have to take care of Iris while his Father was away. Their Mother couldn't carry the pressure of being the Shield's wife and so they found little comfort in her brief calls or visits. Gladiolus did what he could-making Iris food, bringing her flowers. He never wanted his little sister to grow up like this. He never wanted her to know what it felt like living under the constant weight of this pressure. Gladio always put making Iris know she was loved and appreciated above everything else-including his duty.

_ Now you won't see all that I have to lose _

_ And all I've lost in the fight to protect it _

_ I won't let you in, I swore never again _

_ I can't afford, no, I refuse to be rejected _

Noctis was eighteen when he came to terms with his feelings. He confessed to Gladio, who had no clue how to react. He was supposed to protect him. After all, Clarus revealed he had his feelings for King Regis. They had to put them aside and bury them under layers of duty and social graces. Gladiolus couldn't understand how this could possibly work. Worse; he was afraid to try. In the end, it would only cause them pain. Gladio resigned to boxing his feelings away, and continuing to be little more than a bodyguard to his Prince. Noctis tried again when they were nineteen, to be shot down once again. They had both just lost their Fathers. Gladio couldn't lose Noct, too.  _ It's easier this way _ , he told himself. And there were days he actually believed that.

_ I want to break these bones till they're better _

_ I want to break them right and feel alive _

_ You were wrong, you were wrong, you were wrong _

_ My healing needed more than time _

Gladiolus engulfed himself in training. When that failed him against Ravus, he put himself through a grueling challenge. He couldn't afford to die, not when the Prince needed him the most. He had a job to do and he couldn't fail now. Gladio kept going until he was burnt out and then he turned around and continued pushing onward. Noctis needed him. He faced legions of daemons and a mighty swordsman that left him scarred. When he returned to Noct's side, scarred and changed, he insisted that he was a worthy shield now. Noctis tried not to be angry because in his heart, Gladio had already been worthy.

_ When I see fragile things, helpless things, broken things _

_ I see the familiar _

_ I was little, I was weak, I was perfect too _

_ Now I'm a broken mirror _

He tried to sleep. He really did. Gladiolus couldn't listen to Noct's quiet, broken sobs anymore. The shield rose from the bed he shared with his blind companion and left the hotel room. It had been a full week and Noctis hadn't gotten out of bed once since Lady Lunafreya's passing. He was broken. Gladiolus wasn't much better. He could see this. He sat at the edge of the water, staring out into its depths. The city was torn apart. Luna was dead. Ignis was blind. Noctis was  _ broken. _ Gladio felt this horrible sensation; a feeling of losing control. Things were slipping away. His Father, the King, Luna, Ignis...and now Noctis lay in bed, a shell of the former man he once was. Gladio covered his face and cried for the first time since this journey began.

_ I'm standing guard, I'm falling apart _

_ And all I want is to trust you _

_ Show me how to lay my sword down _

_ For long enough to let you through _

He hadn't meant to. Gladio was angry at himself. He pretended to be pissed off at Noct, he'd even caused a fight. Not only that, but he'd hurt Prompto in the process. When did things slip away so fast? How did things get away from him? Everything was changing, and Noctis wasn't the only one who was hurting anymore. Gladiolus stayed at the back of the train for a long time, wanting nothing more than to just be done with this. With all of the change, this world, this life. He was tired. The world used to feel so safe. Being a shield was a duty and he used to take pride in it. Now, it was the only thing keeping him tethered to the here and now...and Gladio knew he was abusing it. Noct would never forgive him for the things he said. So he kept quiet. He meant to apologize, but seeing Ignis so wounded reignited the fire inside him. It was until they made camp that night that he decided perhaps it was time to give his duties a rest and be a companion again. Noctis was staring into the fire blankly, the light gone from those once luminescent eyes.

_ Here I am, pry me open _

_ What do you want to know? _

_ I'm just a kid who grew up scared enough _

_ To hold the door shut _

_ And bury my innocence _

_ But here's a map, here's a shovel _

_ Here's my Achilles' heel _

''Nothin' I say could ever make this right. I didn't mean what I said back there. You've lost so much. I guess I just..''

''You lost people, too. I'm sorry...'' Noct's chest heaved with the familiar sadness. He wanted to cry but found he had no tears left and his lungs were still aching. Everything burned and hurt.

''Don't be. I had my chance to grieve and I didn't do shit with it except be an asshole to you and Prompto. This whole journey, I've been on a self-righteous journey to get stronger...cause I thought if I was...I could save you. Iggy still got hurt. You still lost someone. Our home is gone, our parents are gone.''

''I wanted to save her..I wanted to save everyone...what kind of King am I? I just keep falling short, Gladio,'' Noctis buried his face in his hands, ''you were right, all of it. I want to be stronger, too. I can't do that if we divide...If we fight.''

''I know...that's why I'm apologizing. I used to think you were some stubborn, rich brat. You care about people, about things. Everything. I can't match up to that. I've been selfish and I took it out on you guys. You're my friends, my...'' Gladio looked down, knowing he had to choose his next words carefully.

''Gladio?'' Noct looked over at him with red, puffy eyes. He saw a flicker of light return inside their depths. It was time to let his duties fall to the wayside for a moment to make room for something else.

''I've always loved you. Couldn't say it back before because I couldn't handle the thought of losing you, but...now I know that's exactly why I need to tell you.''

Noctis shifted to press his face into Gladio's chest. For a moment, he was warm and safe. Yes, for a moment he felt like he was home.

_ I'm all in, palms out _

_ I'm at your mercy now and I'm ready to begin _

_ I am strong, I am strong, I am strong enough to let you in _

_ I'll shake the ground with all my might _

_ I will pull my heart up to the surface _

_ For the innocent, for the vulnerable _

_ I'll show up on the front lines with a purpose _

_ And I'll give all I have, I'll give my blood, I'll give my sweat _

Gladiolus certainly hadn't expected the long years in the darkness without Noctis; but he never gave up. He knew his King would return to usher in the dawn once more. He hadn't expected to be returning to Insomnia. He hadn't expected to be bringing flowers to a lone grave perched upon a clear hillside.

''I used to think I was weak, you know. That I couldn't do things on my own without you near...but I've grown a lot. I'm different now...The years took a toll on me but I found my way. I found my light in the dark. I am stronger now than I've ever been...so is Iris. You should see her...she's a real badass. Thank you for everything you did for us...I'm sorry I didn't get a proper goodbye.''

''Gladio! Thought I might find you here.'' Noct's voice rang clear and true as Gladio laid the flowers to rest at the tombstone for Clarus Amicitia, loving and loyal Father.

''Hey there,Your Majesty. What's on the agenda for today?'' He turned, giving him a genuine smile. Noctis smiled back, unable to help himself and he offered the other man his hand.

''Prompto needs help getting some supplies from Lestallum. We've got a lot of work to do...you ready to help rebuild?''

''Ready as I'll ever be.'' Gladiolus took his King's hand and let himself be lead off of the hilltop. He spared one last look at the grave of the man who helped him build his future.

_ An ocean of tears will spill for what is broken _

_ I'm shattered porcelain, glued back together again _

_ Invincible like I've never been _

**Author's Note:**

> I really hope you liked this! Happy Holidays to you, and thank you so, so much for requesting. Writing this felt good.


End file.
